How Dumb Does It Get?

Column for week of January 27, 2014

     Imagine two sports leagues whose teams never compete
with each other.  Perhaps they even play different sports.  How
can anyone compare a team in one league with a team in the
other and decide which is best, or worst?  There isn't a yard
stick that measures both teams.

     Likewise, how can we possibly pick the dumbest idea
ever?  Dumb ideas also often compete in different leagues rather
than facing off against each other.   The Environmental
Protection Agency has its share of dumb ideas.  It is trying to
eliminate coal as an energy source.  Perhaps coal could still be
used to make jewelry.

     Years ago when I was involved in buying coal a
representative of a coal company had a briefcase full of jewelry
made from coal.  It was quite impressive, and clean.  Coal
jewelry won't contribute much to our energy supply.

     The Federal Reserve has its own stable of dumb ideas. 
One of those ideas is to create trillions of new dollars that if
ever spent can only steal value from the dollars we have now. 
Increasing the money supply doesn't increase the wealth money
can buy.  It only divvies the wealth up among more pieces of
money making each worth less.

     Which idea is the dumbest?   I won't even try to answer
that question.  Take a shot at it if you want to.  There are many
big league dumb ideas.  Certainly Obama care has to be on the
list.

     What about minor league dumb ideas?  Can a small idea
be dumber than big one?  Can the dumbness of an idea be
measured by the amount of damage it does?  Can we even
measure the damage to compare the ideas?

     Today I want to shine the spotlight on some minor league
dumb ideas.  These ideas may be minor league, but ounce for
ounce they contain high concentrations of dumb.

     I first encountered one of them years ago when the native
goose population in southern Michigan was growing unchecked. 
People were actually spending money to trap geese and ship
them to places such as Alabama.  Let the geese be someone
else's problem.  They were usually spending someone else's
money.

     It isn't dumb to catch nuisance geese and ship them.  The
dumbness lies in shipping them so far and making them
someone else's problem.  It would be much more efficient and
effective to ship the geese to a nearby dinner table.  Let them be
useful.

     The next step was to recruit people to find geese nests
and replace the goose eggs with plastic fakes to fool the geese
into setting on plastic.  The next steep was probably to find
psychiatrists to treat the disappointed geese for mental anguish. 
Must I include a disclaimer that as far as I know the last step
hasn't been taken, yet?

     That brings us to the dumb idea that triggered this
column.  I'm not about to say it is the dumbest idea ever, even
in its own league.  If you want to collect a couple of buckets of
dumb, it would be a good place to start squeezing.

     Over population of deer is a problem in many urban
areas.  Best I can see, any deer in urban areas is over population. 
Local governments are spending $1,200 per deer to catch them,
sterilize them, and return them to the urban wilds from which
they came.  Is the driver who collides with a sterile deer pleased
that it is sterile?

     This makes shipping geese to Alabama look almost
smart.  It also makes paying $300 a piece to have deer shot look
like a bargain.  To make all these ideas look as dumb as they
are, keep in mind there are people who would gladly pay for the
opportunity to remove the geese, deer and other destructive
critters.  Whatever perils we face, lack of dumb isn't one of
them.

aldmccallum@gmail.com
                                 * * * * *
                                  * * * *
                                   * * *
                                    * *
                                     *
Copyright 2014
Albert D. McCallum