Zero Tolerance for What?

Column for week of February 9, 2015

     Reason.com published its list of the top 10 worst
incidents of zero tolerance in schools during 2014.  Needless to
say (but I'm saying it anyway) some very worthy candidates
didn't make the cut.  Certainly there are enough left to make up
a very competitive second team.

     One incident did deserve points for creativity.  The zero
toleration for weapons, pictures of weapons, gestures with
fingers, and thoughts about imaginary weapons are growing
dull and tiresome.  A school in Minnesota spiced things up a
bit with a new wrinkle.  It tried to freeze a nearly naked, wet
student to death, all in accordance with the holy writ of policy.

     When the fire alarm rang a 14 years old girl was in the
swimming pool.  She ended up outdoors wearing only a wet
swimsuit.  There she remained for 15 minutes.  Did I forget to
mention that the temperature was minus 5 degrees?

     So, what does this have to do with policy?  The
teachers had cars parked in the area.  They could have let the
freezing, wet girl get in a car.  Unfortunately the school policy
had zero tolerance for students in teachers' cars.  Still, I'll give
someone half a point.  After 15 minutes the wet girl was
allowed to get in a car, after she got frostbitten feet.

     It is impossible to cover zero tolerance without circling
back to weapons, real or imagined.  A teacher was suspended
for demonstrating shop tools that, horror of all horrors,
included the dreaded killer screwdriver.  Of course,
screwdrivers can be used as weapons.  The more relevant
question is, What can't be used as a weapon?

     Years ago I represented a client serving 15 to 30 years
for armed robbery.  His weapon was a chair thoughtfully
provided by the bar he robbed.  Do schools have zero tolerance
for chairs?

     What about belts, scarves and just about any article of
clothing?  Can you name any article of clothing that couldn't
be used to beat, choke, strangle or smother someone?  Those
computers many schools now provide could be used to beat
someone to death.

     The zero tolerance for weapons problem came up years
ago at insane asylums.  They addressed the problem by
confining individual inmates naked in padded cells.  Even this
extreme had its flaws.

     As martial arts enthusiasts well know, hands, feet and
other body parts can be used as weapons.  I read of a woman
who allegedly used her boobs to smother her boy friend to
death.  The article was a bit unclear as to weather the
smothering was an accident.   Weapons are still weapons even
if used accidentally.  A gun doesn't cease to be a weapon when
fired accidentally.

     The asylums refined their solution by adding
straitjackets.  The jackets didn't take away the weapons. 
They did render those weapons less effective.

     If schools are truly serious about banning all weapons
they have only one option, confine each student and each
teacher naked in individual padded cells.  I'll leave it up to the
schools to figure out how to deal with the keys to the cells.

     Would anyone be so rash as to call the collection of
cells and inmates a school?  Alas, there is the answer.  School
administrators have been plunging down the wrong road. 
There is more than one way to forever achieve zero weapons in
schools.  The simplest and only way to have zero weapons in
schools is to eliminate schools.

     Some will complain about undesirable side effects.  If
the most important thing is to achieve zero tolerance for
weapons, every side effect is less important.  So, forget about
them.

     If schools should focus on quality education rather than
obsessing about weapons, real or imagined, then fire the
administrators that are chasing the wrong goal.  The first step
toward quality education is to bury blind obsessions and go in
the right direction.

aldmccallum@gmail.com
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Copyright 2015
Albert D. McCallum