Are We Still Here?

     Around the first of November I usually start looking
forward to the winter solstice.  That isn't because I enjoy the
shortest day of the year.  December is as dark and unpleasant as
it gets this side of a coal mine.

     The pleasant part of the first day of calendar winter is
that the next day the sun will be up for a few more seconds,
even if we can't see it through the clouds.  Dark, gloomy, short
days are more bearable when the days are getting longer rather
than shorter.

     The beginning of calendar winter is the last official
beginning of winter.  By the time calendar winter rolls in to
town the beginnings of solar winter and meteorological winter
are fading in the rear view mirror.  Solar winter is half over. 
The winter solstice is much more pleasant when viewed as the
middle of winter rather than the beginning.

     The joy of the most recent winter solstice was tainted by
the Mayan fans' claiming that the world would end.  I must
admit that I was a wee bit skeptical about that claim.  Many past
predictions of the end of the world have proved to have been a
bit overrated.  The doom sayer of 2011 postponed the big event
from May to October to complete the arrangements.  He still
failed to pull it off.

     When I awoke on December 21, immediately I suspected
something had gone wrong again.  Or, was it that something
hadn't gone wrong?  I guess the answer to that question depends
on your views about the end of the world.

     I heard that the big event was planned for sunrise. 
Maybe that was wrong.  I should at least wait for the day to end
before making fun of the failure of the prediction.  To be on the
safe side I would wait until the 21st ended everywhere.  I doubt
that the Mayans knew about the International Date Line.  Still,
why not play it safe?

     I was skeptical enough that while waiting I wrote this
column.  Why not be prepared just in case the world didn't end
on schedule?

     I am now quite certain that the world didn't end.  How
can I be sure?  I never experienced the end of the world.  How
can I be sure what it would be like?
     The Mayans might have been dyslexic.  Perhaps the
world is to end in 12/12/21 rather than on 12/21/12.  Does this
mean that we must now wait with baited breath for almost a
decade?

     What on earth is baited breath?  Is it painful?  Is baited
breath any thing like a baited fish hook?  Does baited breath
have a worm on it?  Perhaps it only smells like a can of worms
that spent too much time getting a sun tan.  If that is the case,
after waiting for almost a decade with baited breath we might
welcome the end of the world.

     There are other opinions about the meaning of baited
breath.  Some even claim that the expression is really "bated
breath."  They trace it back to Bill Shakespeare.  Does anyone
who has read any of Bill's writings really believe we should
consider him an authority on spelling?  If you are waiting with
baited (bated?) breath to learn more about baited breath, hit the
Internet.

     Disclaimer:  I assume no responsibility for any harm,
psychic or otherwise, you may experience in your search.  At
least buckle your seat belt.

     Maybe the world did end on schedule.  We simply
weren't observant enough to notice.  The doom sayers were
hedging their bets even before the big day dawned.  They were
saying that only the world as we knew it would end.

     Perhaps it did end.  Depending on what you know, the
world as you know it may end every day.  If the world ends
every day, that might take the fun out of predicting the end of
the world.

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Copyright 2012
Albert D. McCallum
18440 29-1/2 Mile Road
Springport, Michigan 49284