How Tall the Stupid Tree?

Column for week of April 21, 2014

     I don't ask, How stupid does it get?  I really don't want
to know.  I am confident though that no matter how tall the
stupid tree grows someone will climb to the highest limb.  Then
the tree will grow a taller branch to be scaled.

     I am quite sure there is more than one stupid tree.  We
are surrounded by far more stupid than could grow on one tree. 
Perhaps every village has a stupid tree.  Might that explain the
origin of the term "village idiot?"  If every village has a stupid
tree, How many flourish in Washington, D.C?  There must be an
entire forest of stupid trees there.

     Most of the people climbing the stupid trees are involved
with government.  There is an explanation for that.  When
success requires the voluntary participation of others,  doing
stupid things can put a damper on success.

     Whether you are throwing a party or running a shoe
store, do too much stupid and you are likely to find your corner
of the world rather lonely.  In private ventures which depend on
voluntary cooperation stupidity is self limiting.

     Only with captive customers can stupid prosper and
grow.  Government with its captive "customers" provides the
perfect fertile soil for growing giant stupid trees.  Stupid trees
can thrive in any climate, including Michigan.

     I'm not going to dignify the latest idea from the stupid
tree as the worst ever.  It does stand trunk and limb above many
others.

     Some people in Plymouth got together and built elevated
bleachers for the school's baseball field.  The school tore down
the bleachers before they were ever used.  Perhaps one could
imagine a half sensible reason for tearing down the bleachers. 
The school didn't even bother pretending it had a sensible
reason.

     Someone complained to the federal government that the
bleachers were unfair.  The Feds agreed.  How can bleachers be
unfair?  The problem was that the girls' softball field didn't have
similar bleachers.

     This was double stupid.  Someone must have climbed to
the top of the stupid tree twice.  It makes it difficult to not
believe in reincarnation.  How could anyone get that stupid in
one lifetime?

     The solution was the equivalent of someone with a
broken leg deciding to break everyone else's leg.  I can imagine
that such a solution holds some charm for those who enjoy
basking in equal misery.

     Wasting the bleachers wasn't close to the worst part. 
Vandals destroy other people's property out of jealousy.  Vandals
know they are criminals and are likely to be punished if caught. 
Destroying the bleachers was far worse than ordinary vandalism. 
It was done under color of law by individuals entrusted with
responsibility for educating young people.  Still, it was
vandalism.

     What an example to set for children.  If someone has
something better than you have, DESTROY IT.  If that isn't a
race to the bottom, What is?  If everyone destroys everything
that is better than what they have, What will be left?  Probably
nothing but the stupid trees will remain standing.  I'm sure that
the fruit of the stupid tree is too bitter to eat.

     I'm confident that there is no way to cut down all of the
stupid trees or to prevent people from climbing them.  The
answer is to remove more functions from government and return
them to voluntary cooperation in the private sector. Then those
who insist on dwelling in the highest branches of the stupid trees
won't be able to inflict so much damage.

aldmccallum@gmail.com
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Copyright 2014
Albert D. McCallum